It's a Great Sign When We're Punctual

How many of us tend to be "fashionably late" to a gathering?

Or, we may walk into an appointment or meeting minutes afterward and not think much of it. 

We rationalize to ourselves, that something like  The meeting/party/gathering doesn't really get started for a while as people chit-chat.

For whatever reasons that we can justify, we make excuses for why we are late.

I remember a conversation I had with one of my doctoral professors about this very subject. He said a few things that stuck with me that I'd like to share. I'll put it in the form of a conversation and do the best I can to honor it as I remember it.

Professor: What do you think it says when you come into class, a meeting, social event, or an appointment five to ten minutes late?

Me: That I got held up? I got caught up on maybe a phone call and it delayed me a bit? Maybe I realized that for the first five minutes or so nothing really is going to be talked about? If it's a party, it usually doesn't really get going for even longer, a half hour to an hour.

Professor: I see. Let's start with the class but we can use any of the situations. 

Me: Okay.

Professor: You've made an 'agreement' with the school that you would attend classes here. The times of the class are posted well in advance and by enrolling or agreeing to the description of the 'event', you essentially commit to honoring that agreement, correct?

Me: (after thinking for a bit). I follow you.

Professor: By coming in five to ten minutes late, you're assuming that nothing of value is going to be discussed and therefore you assume again that it's okay to break your agreement.

Me: I'm not purposefully breaking the agreement. I'm...

Professor: And, by doing that you are also assuming that there it is okay to come after said beginning time and that it's okay to disrespect not only myself and your fellow students but yourself as well.

Me: What do you mean disrespect?

Professor: If we are in the middle of a discussion or someone is sharing something powerful or valuable, you are basically saying that by coming in late that you don't need to be there as you've come up with your own rationale for being late.

Me: I don't intend to be disrespectful.

Professor: It comes down to do you honor your commitment, your word, and the integrity of your actions so that you are consistent with what you agree to do?

Me: Things come up.

Professor: I understand that. When you are not able to hold your commitment, do you apologize for not honoring that commitment to those who were there that chose to honor it?

Me: (I pause, thinking about this and not saying anything)

Professor: Could you have chosen to leave with extra time on the clock so that if a call comes in or something comes up, you have time to possibly handle it and still be on time and honor your commitment?

Me: In most situations, yes. I could leave early and not have to rush and could probably take care of most things if they came up while waiting outside for class to begin.

Professor: (Smiles) Something to think about, isn't it?

Since that time, now going on thirty-five years later, that message still resonates with me and I am very aware of being punctual as I value my word, the agreement/invitation, AND other people's time.

I care about living an integrity-based life that honors my time, my word, and other people's time and their willingness to be a part of an experience/gathering in which I am included.

As my professor said, "It's something to think about, isn't it?"